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Peter Whisenant's avatar

You mimic perfectly the grand manner of the Tate poem. Of course, there's no Antietam or Shiloh or Malvern Hill as backdrop to the theatrical luridness, giving the piece a macabre kind of irony. Your recitation surprised me, too. Are you a Southerner?

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Nik Hoffmann's avatar

Much appreciated, Peter. I'm not quite a Southerner, certainly not the Deep South. I'm more of a Middle American. My family is from TN, KY, IL, MO & AR.

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Bartholomew's avatar

I like this, but reading it, I realize how foreign the topic of computer screens is to poem and prose. Certain references are quite jarring, though that is used to good effect.

"This world encased in the electric grave"

This line stuck out to me because of how 'electric' is used in common parlance. That is, something new, inspiring, and attention grabbing. I know I'm suppose to understand the use of the word here as the electric drone of TV static, but I wasn't fully persuaded. That is likely not the main point of the poem, of course. Rather, I was struck by how the chief struggle in communicating the deadness of digital technology is in getting words we've been using as synonymous with "living" to mean "deadening."

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Nik Hoffmann's avatar

Thank you for reading it, Bartholomew. Your thoughts are much appreciated.

Your comments are quite salient. The violent paradox of the "living deadness" in the "electric grave" was very much what I was after.

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